New Review: Adorned

So a fairly big name in the Christian arena of authors, especially those that write on upholding biblical marriage and womanhood is Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. A release of hers that I'm just getting to read this year is her first book post-marriage: Adorned.
Beautifully written and well thought out.

And yet it is not about marriage but about living out the gospel, per Titus 2 with the women around us. She gives the perspective of being both the older woman who seeks to exhort and the younger woman who accepts the exhortation.

The book is written in three parts with each chapter corresponding to part of Titus 2:1-5, 10. The end of each chapter has a section of questions for older women and one for younger women. It has the feeling of being read in a group or partner setting OR even used as teaching material for discipleship between women.
The first section focuses on submission to God and how that is fleshed out in a Titus 2 relationship. She starts with understanding that doctrine (regardless of what doctrine you adhere to) guides your beliefs and actions. She addresses teaching in the Titus 2 context, woman to woman, older woman to younger woman. I appreciate how she acknowledges that we are always in BOTH positions. Always in a position to learn and a position to teach. Even when we think we have nothing to teach, there is always some lesson you've learned that can be passed on to someone younger.
The second section focuses on being a woman under control. This is huge because we are in a culture where we have the liberty to do almost anything we want. But we have to understand and practice self-control; knowing that everything that I can do is not beneficial to us and much of it is harmful.
The third section focuses on our home. As we know part of Paul's advice is that older women instruct younger women in being wives and mothers. This is taking into account the older women are living in a manner that brings God glory and honor. And the last chapter focuses on tying it all together to be beautiful in God's eyesight.

So Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth's writings, in my experience, have always brought up some discourse or discontent from women, especially those who lean heavily feminist.
Generally, I enjoy the majority of her writing. And this book does not disappoint. It is very engaging and the questions at the end of the chapter beget us to sit still and reflect to see where we can improve. With her being a newly married woman, I will admit I was cautious in reading because there's so much she still has to learn but because she has spent much time in a Titus 2 setting and studying it, it gives her an advantage to be better prepared for marriage in a way that I was not.

I HIGHLY recommend for those who want to promote Titus 2 relationships among godly women, among the church. We need even the young women who are in college and pursuing God to reach back to the highschool aged women around them and help them pursue God as well so the younger generation sees that it is not just "old" women pursuing God.

{FYI: I received this book from Moody Publishers for free in exchange for my HONEST review.}

New Review: Play to Their Strength

So our next book is a parenting book. I'm almost always up for reading someone else's take on parenting because as parents we don't know it all. And if someone has advice that can make me a better, more God-honouring parent then I'm all ears.

From the cover, this one promises both.

So in this book, we meet parents who have got it wrong then strove on how to get it right.  Their goal is to not parent from a place of fear but one of working to uncover what their children's gifts and talents are, then parent their children in such a way that nurtures those gifts and talents. Some practical tools they offer are to find the 5 e's (your child's enthusiasm, ease, excellence, energy, and enjoyment) regarding what your children are involved in; creating a vision board, which works with children the same way it does us, adults; and keeping an eye out for red flags that trigger frustration and keep parents from reacting and disciplining out of anger.

Then the last 80 pages of the book is the Bonus Playbook which helps parents actually used what they've read. There are practical tips to go with every chapter.

This book has been an interesting book to read, especially since we have five (5) children that span in an age range from 1 to 12. For me, Chapters 12 and 13 have been the most useful and implementor. I see this book as an ongoing reference book that would get a reread every so often for recharge. But all in all, I like their approach to parenting, its encouragement and cultivation at its best.

I also like that they encourage really learning our children and not taking the approach that we know them because we birthed them.

I definitely recommend this book to parents. 

{Also, please note that I received this book from the publisher, Harvest House, in exchange for my honest opinion.}

New Cookbook Review: In the Kitchen with Grandma

Such the sweetest cookbook for grandmas and mamas to try with their kids/grandkids.

Now mind you I'm not a grandmother and likely won't be for a long time. I still thoroughly enjoyed this book as they are recipes I can do with my kids.

So, the recipes in this book are organized into sections around seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. Then there are the Year-Round and Holiday recipes.  And there's a section on how best to share your faith with your grandkids/kids complete with hand motions and all. Like how awesome is this? A cookbook that seeks to add just a touch of sharing the gospel.

I like that the author identifies how difficult recipes (represented by the number of spoons) are and gives gluten-free options for most (if not all) recipes. The recipes (in my opinion) are all fairly easy to replicate and enjoy. I love that all the recipes are kid-friendly and can please even the pickiest of eaters. And there are margins for note-taking! Absolutely brilliant to have a note section with each recipe so that each mom/grandma can note down her little tweaks to the recipe that make it a family favorite.

The only thing I wish was different is that the interior was as colorful as the exterior. The interior is for the most part grayscale with few touches of a deep rose.

However, I think it could be loads of fun throughout the year with new recipes to try.
You can purchase a copy here.

{As always I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.}

New Review: Life In Community

Community is a concept was hugely believed in and lived by in the early church. So much so, that it has survived through hundreds of years and is still written about to this day. I realize there is no shortage of writers that are writing on community or hospitality.
And therefore I find myself interested in reading this book to see what does Dustin Willis have to say on the topic that hasn't already been said or how does he present the material in a fresh way.

You can purchase the book on Amazon.

So after reading this book, which is split into three sections: forming community, the values for living in community, and next steps for a strong community. What I have found is that I do have a great appreciation for Dustin's message on returning to the idea of community as close to what it looked like in the Early Church as possible. I love the idea of holding each other accountable, of showing our true selves (the one our family sees), of forgiveness, and having real relationships. I think I expected more on the topic of hospitality. This book has exactly one chapter on hospitality, which is (in my opinion) a huge part of community, of being able to invite people into your life and to do life together.

I also appreciate the discussion questions at the end of each chapter as it encourages the reader to really engage with the book and self reflect on how we are apart of or encourage community around us. I personally noticed that I do not quite engage in the community around me like I want. And it gave me a nugget to chew on to engage in community and develop deeper relationships with those around me. My favorite quote from the book is "This was mot a Sunday activity that took place for an hour and ended with a prayer and a song. Community is more than a Sunday." I also enjoy the analogy of the after-church potluck meal to the need for everyone to bring their gifts to the body christ in community. No one is quite trying to make the same dish, just like each of our gifts our not quite the same or even used exactly the same. And we have to appreciate that both on an individual personal level and on a corporate level.

A great feature found in this book is the small group leader's guide. I really appreciate this because all too often, great books will have the study guide in a completely separate book that you have to buy and this one bundles it together for an easy way to do a book study and everyone is able to follow along.

All in all, I think this book is a solid read. It's great for those looking for the reasons why we should develop community and the values to base community on. It is also great for the book guide in the back, which breaks the book down into 6 weeks of reading that everyone in your newfound community can do together so everyone has the same understanding and appreciation for the community you are building. 

{As always I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.}

Friendship Promises

We all have friends, right? And what particularly makes us a good friend? What would we tell others if they asked us this question?

So this is a new gift book by (in) courage, it is composed of devotions, prayer prompts, and journal prompts on the topic of friendship combined with beautiful Scripture art and graphics. I can easily see this book going from gift to interactive treasure as the devotions, prayers, and journaling prompts (along with the space to journal) invites us to linger and digest these lessons & promises on friendship. Then, as we marvel at the Scripture art, perhaps they are left blank without color so that we, too, may participate in making this book beautiful. 

The friendship promised this book offers are:

I promise to be Authentic, Present, Encouraging, and Rooted in Christ. The entire book is organized by these friendship promises. The reflections are drawn from Never Unfriended by Lisa Jo Baker and Craving Connection (another book by (in)courage). I mention this so that you have an idea of the authors of the book since other than this mention, there is no attributed author.

So for the exterior, we're looking at linen over the board. In person, it is the perfect shade of a coral/salmon color. And is the same size as Open Door Living (another gift book). The cover lettering & design is embossed with gold foil. There's also a ribbon marker the same shade of coral/salmon as the book, which makes me happy. 

I really like this book. I think that in this world of people being so easy to write each other off (and being proud of that fact) we need more resources on friendship. The beauty in friendship and knowing just what godly friendship looks like.

Highly recommend. I say buy in pairs. One for yourself and one for your best gal pal (or more for your best gal group of friends).

{As always, I received this book from the publisher (B&H) in exchange for my HONEST opinion.}

Praying God's Will for Your Life

Stormie Omartian is highly regarded in Christian circles for her writing and so I was quite interested to finally review a book by her. 

One thing to note from even the beginning chapters of this book is that it is quite personal. It's as if Stormie walks her audience through her life and how she became a Christian. Guiding the reader through becoming a Christian as well. She guides the reader through praying for salvation and if the reader is already a Christian, she guides them through recommiting themselves to Jesus. She recounts how she became a Christian so that others who may be on the fence about becoming a Christian can have that encouragement. 

 The book is organized into three sections: The Intimate Relationship, The Solid Foundation, and the Obedient Walk. Each section focuses on a specific part of the believer's life. The first section is helping the believer come into relationship with Jesus. The second section is to help pour the firm foundation of faith. The third section is living out that faith; obediently walking out the faith.

The chapters are bite sized and have a prayer section at the end of each.  The first four chapters have two prayers: one prayer for the new believer & one prayer for the seasoned believer. The bonus journaling space is at the end of the book. It would have been perfect to have it at the end of each chapter where its easier to journal in response to each chapter. There's also a tools of truth section at the end of each chapter which contain Scripture verses that relate to each chapter. 

At first I was a bit skeptical, but I see why her books are so beloved. This one is good for both the new and the seasoned believer. It requires you to put in work on your end to see results. And it prompts us to open up to the work of the Holy Spirit.

{FYI: I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.}

Preparing Your Heart for Marriage

This is like only the second couples devotional I've ever come across and yet the first one that is specifically for engaged couples. 

Gary Thomas is known for his Christ-centered books for families. Most of them (especially the ones I've read) are on marriage. My favorite is Sacred Marriage. It has really progressed how I view marriage. 

So recently Gary Thomas released this devotional. It is for 30 days prior to marriage and has a day of the wedding devotional for both the bride and the groom. What I love is that the devotions are not expected to be read by just one person, they are expected to be read by both the bride and the groom. AND there are reflection questions for them to discuss. Also, the devotions are about 3 pages each. The devotions are broken down into 3 groups: God's Plan for marriage, Preparing for your vows, & The wedding vows. If you look below at the photos, you'll see the titles of each devotional in each section. One thing to note is that Gary Thomas is addressing the marriage, not the wedding. He isn't addressing the literal wording of the vows BUT the meaning behind those vows and what it looks like in action. He's addressing engaged couples' headspace going into marriage. He's giving them a tool to help them succeed. To know that marriage is full of forgiveness and grace and service unto each other. 

Table of Contents pg 1

Table of contents pg 2

Back cover

This back cover captivated me because it made me think, was I spiritually ready for marriage when I got married 8 1/2 years ago? Honestly no. I was not ready on spiritually and while I thought I was ready emotionally, I actually was not. And because of that, my marriage suffered a bit under my immaturity. There are days now, when it still may suffer from my attitude.

So I recommend this book along with good godly pre-marital counselling (preferably by a neutral party).

{As always, I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my HONEST opinion.}

Seated with Christ

At first, I was a wee bit skeptical about this book as it is the first I've read by this author. However, I can say it will not be my last.  It is TOO raw and it gets beneath my skin in a way that requires me to self-examine.  This book is organized by section and feature Sit & Savor questions at the end of each chapter. The Sit &  Savor questions take it from being a regular book to one that intreats you to highlight, study, and glean what is shared on the pages. 

So I've learned a few things while reading this book:

• To be seated in Christ is to be secure in who Christ says you are. He says that we are loved, that He has prepared a place for us in the heavenlies, that we are heirs with Him in the kingdom of God.
• As one who is seated in Christ, I am not striving for affluence or appearance or attention. I am resting in the Father, knowing that Jesus must become greater and I lesser.
• Once I accept that I am seated in Christ, it frees me to serve others and share the gospel. It frees me to do what God has called me to do. 

I love that Heather addresses the rat race to be rich. She realizes that God didn't call us to be rich on this earth. He called us to HIMSELF. And if He chooses to bestow riches then so be it but money is NOT an indicator of being within the will of God or salvation. 

There's also a section of the book on living at 60%. To live at 60% means we prioritize what's important and learn to say no to quite a bit so that we are not overextending ourselves. A lot of times as moms we are exhausted and snappy and overwhelmed because we take on too much. We live at 99% so when something does not go according to plan we lose our minds and snap. Our kids feel it and so do our significant others. I think the same can even be said of our finances. (Chapter 9)

Heather also addresses discipleship (although not directly in this term). She started a fitness night and walk to school tradition in her neighborhood which has opened the door for her to be available and to share bible with those within a 1-mile radius of her. (Chapter 9) It's an inspiration for hospitality and creating community. Something that the early church did so well.

A list of questions to ask yourself before making decisions.

I found this list of questions to be quite useful as I often like to rush headlong into decisions without stopping to question if the decision is good. And there is always the ever-present difference between good and almost good. But moreover, these questions allow me to put Jesus at the forefront of everything I do and to reject those things that would not bring Him glory.

quick excerpt

another quick excerpt

This book gets ALL thumbs up! Excellent writing, excellent organization, excellent message. A necessary message. I definitely will continue to recommend (already have done so on social media).

{FYI: I received this book from Moody Publishers in exchange for my HONEST opinion.}

The Struggle Is Real

The struggle is real is a book that is supposed to help us get better by relying on faith and God. I'll be honest, I struggled to even read the book. Most books are able to pull me in to read and get a good opinion of it. This one was a real struggle to get into to even form a basic opinion of it. I understood where the author was trying to go with this book. The problem was that the intro story does not draw one in. It doesn't beckon you to sit down and read it with enthusiasm. If you can get past that, then you have the ability to really grasp and get into a book that wants to pull you out of you and help you see past what keeps you stuck and not living life as God intended for you. 

The first step comes in Chapter 2 recognizing the lies then move on to chapter 3 where you accept God's truth about you. 

Then the second section is helping us live out that truth. To help you not just let your story happen BUT for you to direct your story, to actually live and enjoy your story.

For me, this book will likely be passed on to someone in need of encouragement and pulled out of a rut. 

{FYI: I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for my HONEST opinion.}

The Lifegiving Trilogy

If you've been following along, then you know that there are 3 books in the Lifegiving Trilogy. 

The Lifegiving Home (review found here)

Two words that sum up this book: Cultivating HOME.

The Lifegiving Table (review found here)

Two words that sum up this book: Intentional discipleship.

And lastly The Lifegiving Parent (review found here). 

Two words that sum up this book: Intentional parenting.

As you may have read, these are well-written books that expound on being lifegiving. Intentionally Lifegiving in our homes, Intentionally Lifegiving with the meals we serve, Intentionally Lifegiving in how we parent our children. We want to cultivate the intentionality because it does NOT come naturally. It doesn't come naturally for me. If I am not intentional then I will spend entirely TOO much time on social media (if you don't believe me ask my husband). I have chosen to use Lifegiving Table this fall/winter season (along with another book, you can find here) to disciple the hearts around me by simply inviting people for dinner. Inviting my neighbors to Thanksgiving dinner will allow me to use a meal to be intentional in being hospitable and loving towards them. The same with Christmas. I want not only my family but those around us to want to come to our home. And that starts with me. 

I recommend this trilogy to everyone who wants to cultivate something special in their home, in their family. Even if you do not have children, you can still appreciate at least 2/3 of the books.

Thank you, Sally, for this oh so needed reminder! And if you want to know more about Sally or her books, you can connect with her here. And thank you, Tyndale, for allowing me the chance to experience these books! 

You can purchase the entire trilogy HERE for only $24.49 (prices subject to change).

Why Her?

When I saw this book, I was super hesitant to request to review it because it seemed like yet another "me too" book. And I wanted something deeper. But then I saw that Proverbs 31 was (and still is) doing a bible study through it, I decided to go ahead and review it.

So it is about Nicki's experiences yet she takes us through the biblical experiences of Rachel and Leah, Jacob's wives, the mothers of Israel. These women were the epitome of comparison and disappointment and coveting what the other had. Something that is extremely prevalent in today's culture of Instagram and Pinterest where you get a snapshot of someone's life and almost immediately can fall prey to comparing your life to theirs. 

Nicki walks us through 6 lies and the responding truths as we combat the lies of the comparison game. And that is what makes this book NOT another "me too" book. Nicki goes beyond saying here I struggle, she says Yes I struggle but here's how I'm working on it so you can too. And that is what makes this book awesome. 

As you can see each Truth is roughly about 2 chapters long.

And if you have the opportunity to get the bible study companion and watch the videos offered through Proverbs 31, DO IT. (as of this posting, they are still available).

{FYI: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest opinion.}

The Life Giving Table

I've been sitting on this book for quite awhile. Sitting savouring what I was reading and enjoying the recipes shared in the book by Sally.

So this is book two in the Life-Giving Series. This particular book focuses on mealtime and how it can be used to disciple those who dine with us. Of course, because Sally is a mom of four, a majority is told from the perspective of using meal time to disciple the hearts of our family and set a tone of nurturing each other through meals and the time spent. However, she also includes some experiences of hers from before she and Clay had children so their mealtime discipleship would be for their friends and acquaintances while abroad on missions, specifically in Vienna, Austria.

Mealtime does not have to be just eating but also includes the conversation that can occur over meals (I say can because not everyone converses during meals).

So one of the best parts? The nuggets found throughout the book and the recipes that are tried and true direct from Sally's kitchen (each chapter includes several recipes). The first chapter that is written by Sally's husband, Clay. And it is so good because you get the why from a male's perspective, who purposefully participates in this process. As a mom who wants to leave a godly influence on my children, this book, as well as the others in the series, are apart of the treasure trove.

This is the table of contents. As you can see there are about 14 chapters and each chapter has about 2--4 recipes at the end, there are at least 30 recipes in this book. There is an appendix with conversation starters which is awesome for families who are just introducing the idea of discipleship around mealtime.

This is how each chapter starts off. The table-discipleship principle at the beginning of each chapter kind of gives you an idea of what that chapter will cover.






{FYI: I received this book from the publisher (Tyndale) in exchange for my honest opinion.}

66 ways God loves YOU

There are 66 books in the bible and they all fit together to tell an amazing story of God's redeeming love. 

Jennifer Rothschild takes each book of the Bible and relates God's redeeming love for us to readily see and understand. It's almost like being able to be read 66 love letters. Love letters from God's word, from each book of the bible. 

There are many times in which we need a very real and very clear reminder of God's love for us and this book provides 66 of them.  I say read them for yourself. Read them to your children, read them to a friend who may be struggling. 

This is from the book of Exodus (I enlarged it so that the words can actually be read)

{FYI: I received this book from the publisher through the BookLook Blogger program in exchange for my HONEST opinion.}

Are you a fruitful wife?

As a wife my greatest goal is to be the best wife I can be.

Not only so that my marriage is enjoyable.

Not only so my husband is happy.

But because my marriage is an earthly example of Jesus' relationship with the church.

To be a fruitful wife is to embody the nine fruits of the Spirit. Or rather to cultivate the nine fruits of the Spirit.

• love
• joy
• faithfulness
• kindness
• self-control
• peace
• gentleness
• goodness
• patience

Haley DiMarco, addresses the need to be a fruitful wife. Her goal is writing this book is to answer the question: How can you be the woman God is calling you to be, a woman who bears the fruit of the Spirit in your marriage and in the daily grind of life?

She explores and unpacks the biblical significance of being fruitful. Many of us get married and we come to certain passages to help us understand our roles. Proverbs 31 is very popular. So is Titus 2. Ephesians 5 is getting there (although those who do not want to respect their spouses unconditionally may overlook or misinterpret that passage). But then we come to Galatians 5, where Paul gives us the fruit of the Holy Spirit working in our lives, how we will see it in others; how others will see it in us.

I like how Haley shares bits of her personal life in this book, so its not generic. So I, the reader, can feel like she's relating to my daily struggle as a wife and my daily goal as a wife.

I like that I have a visible way to apply the fruit of the Spirit in my life. And the greater beauty is that while I am seeking to improve myself in marriage, it will have a larger impact to extend to others as well. Because I can't truly cultivate the fruit of the Spirit and only use it some of the time, its all or nothing.

#Application is the key to change. It's one thing to read a book and like the message its another thing for that book to give application to reinforce change. Haley gives me meat for change. 

If you are married, get the book. If you are engaged, get the book.

If you are single, STILL get the book.  

This is applicable in ALL stages of life.

{FYI, I did receive this book from the publisher (Crossway) in exchange for my honest opinion.}

The Case for Grace

Through out the years we've learned that grace and mercy is the saving grace of the Christian.

It is the traits of God that grants us forgiveness. 

Yet in recent years it seems grace has been almost over used and under valued. 

I mean that to say everyone preaches the message of grace and mercy to the sinner, that it renews each day. Yet they forget to include the disclaimer that grace and mercy is not an OK to sin thinking "Well God will have grace and mercy and forgive me." 

It is important to remember this because God judges the heart. He sees all of what we think we're doing and judges our motives. So if we do not grasp grace and mercy in its fullness. Then we could very easily lose its covering. God is not a man that He would be made a fool of.

Grace and mercy is all in Jesus bearing the sins of all mankind on the cross.

Grace and mercy is all in Jesus' resurrection.

Grace and mercy is what kept Jesus on the path to crucifixion.

What is is NOT is: 

a license to sin.

What it DOES DO:

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works. (Titus 2:11-14)

The above passage in Titus, shows us that the grace of God brings salvation. It teaches us to deny ungodliness & worldly lusts. It exhorts us to live soberly, righteously, and godly. Notice it says in the present age, meaning it is ever applicable. Grace enables us to seek out Jesus Christ to be redeemed and purified by Him.

So today, look for the grace of God in your life and be thankful for it. Know that as God graces you each day, that we must confess our sins. We are born sinners and will remain that way until we leave this earth and as such must ask for forgiveness of the sins we commit and in that we are repenting which is not only asking for forgiveness but also turning AWAY from the sin. That is making the conscious effort to repeat.

~Kris

My Aids in Prayer

In light of the recent War Room movie many of us are reexamining our lives especially in the area of prayer. How often are we praying and are we praying just when we are in trouble?

I think so often we tend to use prayer as a last line of defense instead of the first line of defense and as a hedge and the first line of offense.

For those of you who have not seen War Room, it is a movie that details how prayer and strategic planning. I have come across several tools for aiding in my prayer life and I thought I would share them with you.

• First is the use of a prayer journal. My journal has significantly changed over the years. It's went from my constant complaining and whining to me actually praying and usually when I do start to whine the Lord tends to correct my thinking and cause me to repent before I'm even done writing. I also write down people that I am praying for, usually just their name and a quick note on specifically what I am praying.
• Mark Batterson's Draw the Circle, a 40 day Prayer Challenge. It reads like a devotional with a prompt to pray each day, specifically. The point is to "draw a circle" around the people and things that are important to you. Batterson tells of how he led prayer on a corporate level with his church based on Scripture and I think it is something that we can definitely use in our personal prayer lives. The number 40 is significant because it is the number of years the Israelites spent in the wilderness and the number of days Jesus spent in the wilderness. 
• Jennifer White's article 9 prayers for your War Room. I've actually prayed these prayers and written them down in my prayer folder. 
• My prayer folder. I've read of people who have said they did not have the space to create an actual prayer room or prayer closet. And I totally understand! I have no extra closets or rooms in my house. We have a three bedroom home and readying to welcome our fourth child. So that should give you an idea of the amount of extra space we actually have. Every nook and cranny is needed. So I created a prayer folder. I use it to hold the prayers that I have written that I plan to post when I do have the space for a prayer closet.. And to contain my strategy for prayer on how I pray.
• There are also several reading plans on the YouVersion bible app that can aid in helping you see the importance of prayer in the bible. I'm doing both War Room- The Overflow Devo and Prayers of Jesus reading plans. They are short reading plans (6 days & 5 days respectively). When I'm also doing other bible studies (whether working through them or writing them) I try to keep it light and not too long on the reading plans. 

So what are your aids in prayer? Share them below!

 

What if Marriage was intended to be sacred?

How often do we go into marriage with the understanding of being made happy by the marriage and our spouse? How often do we hear people end marriages because they were "unhappy?"

Now what if you were to learn that God did not design our marriage with our happiness as its central focus? What if our marriage is designed to make us holy before Him? What if marriage was not designed for our happiness but to completely glorify God?

That is what Gary Thomas is answering for us and opening our eyes to see in his book Sacred Marriage.

When I got married and throughout a great portion of marriage and even at times now, I get angry because of the times when we are unhappy and it is chaotic. I am still learning that my marriage was not designed for me to be happy. Yes happiness can be a by product of marriage. But that is not the original design for marriage. 

This book is filled with examples of couples who had been going about marriage (and in some cases divorce) the wrong way. They'd been consumed with themselves and what made them happy. Yet they either forgot or were completely unaware of the fact that happiness is fleeting and that is not marriage's purpose. That is not our spouses purpose. We cannot burden our spouses with the task of making us happy all the time. Our joy must come from the Lord and when that happens we become content to let marriage be what God designed it to be.

A really good example of this is Hosea in the bible. Hosea was instructed to marry a harlot (a prostitute) who would give birth to children that may not have even been Hosea's children. Yet God had a purpose in this. He wanted to use marriage, specifically Hosea's marriage, to demonstrate His purpose for marriage. God wanted to show that there needs to be constant forgiveness and not human forgiveness but Godly forgiveness. God wanted to show His relationship with the people and how before we get married to our earthly spouses we have a heavenly spouse. And in our submission & obedience & loving to our earthly spouse, we are essentially doing that unto our heavenly spouse. The same goes for the message Paul gives us in Ephesians 5.

Gary Thomas seeks to give this knowledge to the believer. To live out marriage the way God intended for it to be. To stop being prideful and selfish in our marriages. To allow God to use our marriages to make us holy before Him.

 As a wife one of the things my husband is charged to do is to "that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,  that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish." (Eph. 5:26-27 NKJV) And in response my job is to submit and allow him to do so. No matter how hard that may be or how hard my flesh wants to fight. (And trust me my flesh has been and is fighting.)

That is what I have been learning from this book.

FYI: I received this book as a member of BooklookBloggers for free in exchange for my honest opinion. 

I do....From this day forward

Are you married? 

Do plan to be married one day (if you are single).

What do you think contributes to high, 50%, divorce rate among those in the U.S.? 

Personally I think the high divorce rate is because people in the last 50-75 years or so have become super-lazy. They want their marriages to be like a hot pocket or like a Subway sandwich made to be exactly how they or they give it back or throw it away. People these days seem to only want marriage when it is easy. They don't want to get down in the trenches to put in the work to make the marriage work.

From This Day Forward: Five Commitments to Fail-Proof Your Marriage By Craig & Amy Groeschel explains five commitments that Christian couples can make to strengthen their marriage to lengthen their marriage and glorify God with their marriage.

 As a married woman with children. This is a book that I can and do appreciate.

The five commitments are: 

Seek God (We seek God in prayer. We need to pray regularly and consistently. All day every day! We need to pray alone at times AND we definitely need to pray together. It is intimate to pray for and with your spouse, knowing their needs from their lips.)

Fight fair (Many times in marriage, we argue to hurt not to solve problems. We lash out in anger and we want our spouses to hurt like we hurt or to prove a point to our spouse. It is not about who is right or who is wrong, when your marriage falls apart.)

Have fun (Many times we have forgotten to laugh. To take the time to have fun in marriage. I'll be honest there are times when I am in a funk and my husband coming to play with me changes my entire mood.)

Stay pure (Keep your mind and heart pure. Don't be out there lusting after people, don't be out there looking at pornography. Regardless to what anyone says, pornography DOES hurt your marriage and your spouse. Adultery starts in the heart, so nip it in the bud before it starts. Keep your heart on pure things. Meditate on Philippians 4:8)

Never give up (This is crucial. Just because you argue, does not mean you give up. Just because your feelings got hurt does not mean you give up. The only cause Jesus allows, spoken of in the bible, couples to divorce is adultery. There are some couples who have remained married and worked out their issues in spite of adultery. See Tina and Teddy Campbell of Mary Mary.)

The goal of this book is to aid married couples and singles alike. For singles and those who are engaged this is a preparation book to aid in their future marriages. For marrieds this book intends to aid them in their marriages, in not giving up or allowing their marriages to crumble. 

So whether you're single, engaged or married you need to read this book.

Kris

{FYI: I received this book through the Booklookblogger's program in exchange for my HONEST review.}



(The Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle is back for a limited time! Get yours here)

A Father's Love

Every time I get new books to review for myself, I am always sure to get at least one book for my babies to read and tell me what they think...like their own book reviews.

This month that book is: A Father's Love From the I can Read/Adventure Bible Series.

My big girl, said she loves this book! This is the first time that the prodigal son story captured her interest. And the vibrant colors is what caught the interest of Caleb and Christian. 

I love the book for those same reasons. It is clear and gets across a beloved bible story. The illustrations are bright and catches the eye. 

The other thing that I enjoy is that Kaylee can read this book on her own without asking for help with pronunciation or knowing what a word means, which is really important to her.

The prodigal son story is one of a spoiled son who takes advantage of his position in life as a wealthy heir, he parties and spends all of his inheritance eventually falling so low as to WISH to be a servant in his father's house who have access to food to eat (he does not) and a place to call home (he does not). However what the prodigal son does not count on is the fact that his father loves him too much to allow him to be a servant. His father is so thankful he has learned and come home that there is a grand celebration of the prodigal son's homecoming and the son takes his rightful place next to his father. Then there was the older son who did everything right and asked why? Why does the son who does everything wrong gain a celebration when he returns? Mind you the older son never got such treatment. The father then reminds the older son, that he will inherit everything the father has and the older son never left or needed reminding that he was loved.

Don't our children go through that regularly? They get in trouble and are disciplined and they have to be reminded that they are indeed loved and the discipline is for their own good. This story is completely needed for our children to know that it is always wiser to do what is right. Your parent will always love you but they won't always be able to save you from the consequences of your actions. The Lord loves us and forgives us. However He will allow us to make our own decisions and bump our heads until we turn back to Him.

{FYI: I got this book from the publisher, Zondervan, in exchange for my honest opinion.}

A God First Life

I think in life there are three types of Christians. Those who are actively putting GOD first in their lives. Those who want to put GOD first but can't quite figure it out. And those who care more about their fleshly desires than putting GOD first in their lives. 

It may seem kind of harsh to think of such categories, however when you really think about it, its not too far off. For those of us who are actively pursuing a relationship with GOD yet need the help with really putting HIM first, a book to help you would be The God-First Life by Stovall Weems.

This book looks at Christian life as if you were a babe in Christ trying to figure it out. You know you want more you just don't know how to obtain it. Then read this book and it will help. One thing that I love in this book is on page 99 in which the author breaks down the Lord's Prayer:

In breaking down the Lord's Prayer as such, the author helps the reader to see that while they may not pray this exact prayer they can get across the same effect of Praise, Purpose (us doing God's will), Provision (God providing for us), Pardon (asking for forgiveness), People (praying for others), Protection (asking for God's protection), and closing out with Praise.

Then the author goes further and reminds us that even in the Lord's Prayer we are putting GOD ahead of ourselves. 

Another topic I enjoyed in the book is the chapter "You've Got to Feed Yourself." Many Christians, regardless to whether they just got saved yesterday or been saved for years, are not always aware of the need of daily fellowship with God beyond prayer. Yes, prayer is important but the only way to truly hear God's response to your prayers is to learn who HE is through studying HIS Word. Many times, God's answer's to your prayers will come through reading HIS Word.

I have gotten plenty of responses to my prayers while studying HIS Word. The Holy Spirit teaches and its our job to ask for instruction in the Word.

"Be careful of approaching the Word with your own agenda"- Stovall Weems. 

So often we do just that, we bring our issues and desires to the Word of God and try to make God's Word apply to what we want. If we want revenge on someone, we'll try make God's Word apply to that situation. If we feel we deserve blessings, we'' try to make God's Word apply. However God's Word does not exist to be a genie but to be instruction, to correct, to admonish, to guide. 

And to be honest, I used to think this was normal, because I watched people do it everyday. They would take a Scripture out of the Bible and make it apply to their situation, whether it did or not. They would tailor the Bible to fit their lives instead of taking their lives and circumcising it to align with God's Word. Yet this is the very thing the author warns us about.

Whether you're a new believer or a seasoned believer, you're never too old/young to live a God-First Life. Many of us lead a me-first life not realizing that it is what holds us back. We look at how we can benefit from God instead of coming to HIM in humble servitude.

~Kris

[I received this book through the BookLookBlogger program in exchange for my honest review.]