When's its time to ask for forgiveness

Today is one of those days when I will sit before you in my transparency. 
Have you ever realized when you are in the wrong, and you are so convicted that it stirs you to action? Well I've had a day like that. 

You see, I've been reading Women Living Well by Courtney Joesph and in part II of this book Courtney addresses marriage. And whoa! Talk about conviction, its one thing for my husband to tell me my behavior is one way its another thing for another woman to say that certain behaviors that women are good for is disrespectful. Then not only is it disrespectful to our husbands, its disobedient to God since we are told, Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33 NKJV).

Now here's the stickler, I've blogged on this topic before! I've addressed that in marriage its extremely important that for both the husband and the wife to be happy, the husband needs respect and the wife needs love. Neither can be earned but must be given. 
So how is it that I screw this one up? Well try having a person who understands the concept of respect but never really understood what disrespect looked like....until today.
And boy was I ashamed! Courtney outlines what disrespect looks like coming from a woman, and I have to admit that I am guilty of ALL of it. Disheartening right?
I can admit, that my body language many times has been disrespectful, my tone of voice has been disrespectful, even how I treat him in bed has been disrespectful. So now I see that I've been disrespectful and I've got quite a lot of making up to do. Now I go on to read that I am in disobedience to God as this is what is commanded of us, encouraged as godly behavior. So now I am in debt to God and my husband. My number 1 and 2 priority. 

She made me realize that every time I had an attitude was disrespect, every eye roll is disrespect, every time I did not adhere to his leading was disrespect...and it hurt to realize that I have indeed been disrespectful when I thought otherwise.
Disrespect is a sign of a lack of faith in God and disobedience to God. When I have full faith in God and am in full obedience to Him, there will be harmony in every other area of life including my marriage.

So today marks a new journey, a path of repentance and hopefully forgiveness...and start to a refreshed marriage. However only time will tell and I trust God for the best.

Join me on this walk, purchase (pre-order) your copy of Women Living Well by Courtney Joesph here!
 Women Living Well : Find Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids, and Your Home, Courtney Joseph

Journey with me! Comment below with your experience in this area
~ Kris

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