Love & Respect

              Love and Respect. Two very intertwined entities. I decided to address these very important topics because they of just how important they are.


           (You see how the man is holding the LOVE card and the woman is holding the Respect card but then if you look closer they both have one hand on the opposite card. That's how marriage should be!)
      
  Regardless to your marital status, relationships need both love and respect, especially romantic relationships. 

I read a status on Facebook that read:

 Respect is NOT, I repeat NOT, given!

It is...

#EARNED
          For this gave me pause for understanding. Then I had to look at the person posting. This is a young woman who is single and probably believes that a man has to prove something to her. And I thought about relationships in general. Many relationships tend to not last for many reasons but I think one of them has to do with the fact that women have made respect optional while retaining that love be unconditional. I will admit I was one of those women, I was raised around women who thought and believed such things, just like the young woman who made the comment. 

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

         Paul instructs wives to respect their husbands and husbands are told to love their wives as they love themselves. That is strong! Think about the implications of these words. Husbands when they love, they will do just about anything, move mountains for the woman they love. However I've noticed that women tend to take a privileged role when they love, they tend to take for granted their significant other. I know this because I was one of those women, who took for granted my husband's love. I knew he loved me so I cared but I didn't put forth the same effort I did when we were first married. Now I realize that as I want my husband's love, one thing that he must have from me is respect.

         Men need to know that they are respected. Respect goes a LONG way. It will dictate how you talk to a man and how to respond to him. When you respect a man, you won't talk to him crazy, you won't talk down to him, why? Because you respect him and his position as a man.

      Now let's focus on love. Don't we all want to be loved unconditionally? To know no matter what happens that we are loved and cherished and cared for? I think that tops the list for most people, especially women. That is the way we were made, to be loved. And just as we want love, I am sure we've had so very unlovable moments, unlovable days, unlovable phases. 

        How would we feel if we told a man, his behavior isn't so respectable so we can't respect him AND his response was well you haven't been so lovable and you don't look so lovable so I can't love you? That would NOT feel good. And guess what it happens, every day. I remember something similar nearly happening to me, I wasn't always so respectful to husband and at times I was downright disrespectful and guess what happened? The unconditional love started to distance itself from me. It was still there but it wasn't so easily reachable and tangible like it was before. And that snapped me into focus like NO! We have to be gracious and respect our men regardless just like we expect them to be gracious and love us regardless.

       I address this issue because there are whole GENERATIONS of women who truly believe that respect must be earned. There are mothers teaching this to their daughters. And they are giving their daughters a head start in the WRONG direction. There are young women who can't keep a man and they wonder why, you believe he has to prove something to YOU when he only has to prove himself to GOD! And you aren't GOD. So relax on your need to control and be in control of your relationship. We are women, we were not meant to be the head of the relationship but the helpmeet in the relationship. I didn't always understand this but it has become a role I fill with grace and gratitude.

       Ladies we were created as delicate and beautiful HELPMEET, we were not given the authority to head our relationships, to lead our marriages. We were made from the man's rib to be at his side not his head to rule over him or his feet to be trampled on. God himself warned Eve of this in Genesis 3:16: 

Your desire will be for your husband,
    and he will rule over you.

      GOD warned her that she would desire for her husband (not desire him in a romantic sense, desire for him meaning to control him) and he would rule over her (meaning the man's position as the head of the household). To this very day, we women still deal with this, we will continue to deal with this. We will continue to want to control our men but that is NOT the way it is to be. We are meant to be led by him and be submissive to his leading.

    I don't remind us of such things to hinder us but so that we can be free to respect and be loved. So we can be free to experience joyful unions and be delighted in and honored by our men. So we can honor them and be thankful for the men that they are. But also so our marriages can survive and blossom. So our families can stay in tact and grow. So we can leave behind a legacy of godly marriages!

~love to you all!
Kris Bush

Encouragement

           Today I read a post on a Facebook group that I am in and it nearly broke my heart. A woman who was "leading" one of the Luke bible study groups had posted that she quit and deleted her group. Her reasoning? Her pastor told her she wasn't qualified to lead a bible study group, that she had not prepared enough. Mind you, she isn't teaching but merely the glue that holds the group together. 
         
         For instance I "lead" a group as well, I am not teaching in my group but sharing what I learned and encouraging my group members to share what they learned so we can feed off each other. I liken it to a college study group. A group of classmates get together to study for a big exam, you take the initiative to get everyone involved, ask a few questions and quiz each other on what you're studying. Would you be considered the professor? No, you aren't teaching, those aren't your credentials. What you're doing is studying together.

         Want to know why this struck a nerve with me? This struck so deep with me because I had someone tell me almost the exact same thing. Told me if I started a bible study group that I would be attacked by the devil because I was branching out and starting a ministry and that I was not qualified to do so. And guess what I wanted to do? A bible study, not one where I'm teaching but one where I got to meet new people and fellowship where we got to read and share what we understood from the reading. More like a book club or similar to a college study group. No professor just a bunch of students working together to advance our understanding of the material.

       Want know about people who were not particularly "credentialed" to be leaders yet God called them to lead anyway? Moses, who stuttered and murdered, was called to be one of the greatest leaders of Israel. David, the youngest, the adulterer, the murderer (yes he arranged a man's death) and yet God called him to be one of Israel's greatest kings. God called David "man after His own heart." Ever think about Josiah, the king who became king as a child. Who was responsible for an entire nation when most kids were still out playing? And guess what Josiah was one of the kings who tried to lead Israel back to the Lord. Then there is Jeremiah, a great prophet of the the Old Testament. It is because of his self-doubt that we see the Lord say "Do not say 'I am too young.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you." (Jeremiah 1:7) 

        What I am saying is don't let naysayers stop you from doing what you are led to do. If God leads you to do something, you keep your eyes focused on what God said to do. Because man can be swayed and corrupted, man can lead us down the wrong path. And they could have the best intentions yet if those intention don't line up with what God said, them intentions don't matter. They could be someone in an authority position, it doesn't mean that they are always right. They, too, are susceptible of being wrong, of allowing their flesh to get in the way.

~Love to you
Kris Bush

Faith, Love, Grace, and Prayer

Last night I was thinking a bit before bed. And I thought about the different things I've experienced in the last few years of life and marriage and some of the things I've learned. I've also realized that I wish I had a Titus 2 wife around, you know:

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine,but to teach what is good. ⁴ Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.  (Titus 2:3-5)

I know that at some point in life I want to be a Titus 2 wife, a woman who sees everything she's been through in life and seeks to help women younger than her maybe even some who are the same age as her but at a place in life that she's already experienced.

As a wife one of the best things I can tell you to do is to be a praying woman! That is a must. Pray consistently over your husband, your children, your home, your finances, and everything else. Pray over any and everything that you have no control over situations and circumstances included. God is a mighty God, nothing is too big or too little for Him.

As a wife as you pray over the people and circumstances around you, remember to pray for yourself. When we pray for ourselves it is not selfish as it helps us to become more godly women. Daily I ask God to guide me because I cannot do it alone. There are days in which I get frustrated about things I have no control over and must surrender my frustration to God and trust Him to take care of it all. 

I personally love the list of prayers that Alisha over at Flourish has created. There is one for your husband, one for your children, and one for your home-school. I love these because you can print them (laminate or place in a page protector , use them, and they cover all areas. 

Then there is Unveiled Wife where there are wife prayers of the day. I love these because they are useful for women in specific.

There will be times in which you do NOT want to pray, when you are angry or frustrated. You will want to vent to another person, post on facebook or twitter. And I encourage you NOT to that. I encourage you to seek out God, even if its just venting to the Lord. He already knows your heart, so you verbally expressing your anguish is you trusting the Lord to be the Lord of your life.

 {whew! This is ministering to my own soul right now. As today is one of those days for me, in which there are circumstances beyond my control and I must remember to let them go and trust God.}

I encourage you to be women of faith. Women who want to embody everything good and pleasing to the Lord. Be patient. With your husband, be patient and gracious. With your children, be patient (and patient some more) and extend grace, as much as needed. With circumstances and situations, be patient and exert self control.

Now I am going to get off this computer and call it a day. Have a blessed day.

Today's words: faith, love, grace, prayer.

Love to you all.

Kris Bush

Beyond Ordinary Book Review

Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher ( Tyndale Publishers)  in exchange for an honest review of the book.



           First off this book is awesome! However let me explain that in being awesome, it will challenge you. It will ask some REALLY tough questions. Questions that will make you question yourself, your faith and your heart. These questions aren't to discourage you but are meant to help you. I honestly believe this book could transform a marriage even if that marriage does not have the same issues, the same principles can be applied. 

           Now down to the nitty gritty. I did not realize just how much my marriage looked like Justin and Trisha's marriage. We aren't in ministry, yet. However our story is similar to their's and may be that is why I can take so much from this book, from their story and apply it to my marriage and my life.

         There were a few things that jumped out at me in this book:

-Pursuing God involves a willingness to surrender our rights and our desires to God for his desires and his plan.

-Change in our marriage doesn't come by changing our spouse but by allowing God to change our hearts.

-Brokenness is an act of surrender.  It's a decision to lay every thing on the line and submit it all to God.

Brokenness is an individual decision.

-Although physical intimacy is not always mutually desired,  when it is mutually offered it goes beyond the obvious physical pleasure and becomes a sacred sharing of knowing and being fully known physically emotionally and spiritually.

-Grace is not grace until we accept it.

These are a few pointers of the book. It is not ALL of the pointers. I'd be nearly copying the book word for word if I gave them all. LOL.

      One thing I will tell you is that if you have reached that point in your marriage where you know you need help. This is a starting point. It's biblical, its heart felt, and God is in it. It's not a book just for women or just for men. It's for both spouses. It is told from both Justin and Trisha's point of view, so its not one sided. I'd personally recommend that both spouses should read the book ans study it together. Make the commitment to learn from the book and pray the prayer: "LORD CHANGE ME." Focus on yourself while you focus on God and on your marriage together.

     If I had to rate the book, I'd give it 5 stars...two thumbs up. As we speak I read it first, took notes. Now my husband is reading the book and hopefully taking notes. I'm sure we will have questions for each other and we will move into the extraordinary marriage and lives that God intended for us.

     I've had time to let this book soak and now I offer a bit more personal take on it. There are some areas in this book I will say completely rocked me to my core and allowed me to confront some areas in my marriage and in myself that I probably would have never done. I thank Justin and Trisha for being so open and honest in this book, it has made me understand that I am not alone, that we are not alone. That not every christian couple has the perfect marriage and that it will take hard work. That it is possible to go to no man's land and STILL rise as a united front, able to tell your story, give your testimony and give ALL the glory to God. 

    I thank the Lord for faithful people like Justin and Trisha because they are helping marriages with this book. Because after reading this book, many couples will realize that they need help, that they want help, and seek God, seek godly counsel. And that's where couples need to get to. A place where they are willing to fall before God and place their marriages on the alter.

For more information on Justin and Trisha Davis (founders of RefineUs Ministries):

http://www.refineus.org/

http://vimeo.com/52880543     <---link beyond="beyond" for="for" i="i" ordinary="ordinary" the="the" to="to" trailer="trailer" video="video">

I hope you enjoy! The book can be ordered on Amazon at: Beyond Ordinary on Amazon

With Love

Kris Bush

Freebies

Okay so lately I've been doing A LOT printing and getting ready for this semester of schooling with our daughter. And since ALL of it is free..I thought I'd share it on here with all of you.

Cookie Worksheet Printables: http://thehappyhousewife.com/homeschool/cookie-worksheets-free-printable/

Free organizing Printables: http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.com/p/free-printables.html

Collection of Homeschool Charts & Freebies (you have to subscribe though): http://fivejs.com/free-collection-of-homeschool-study-charts-and-worksheets/

I love this one! It is a large packet of free worksheets! I found this at Jamerrill's Free Homeschool Deals: http://www.freehomeschooldeals.com/limited-time-homeschool-freebie-over-100-math-puzzles-worksheets-games-more-save-6-99-expires-1613/

Pronoun Practice: http://www.mamaslearningcorner.com/2012/02/personal-pronoun-practice/

Capitalization and Punctuation Practice: http://www.mamaslearningcorner.com/2012/05/correct-the-sentence-capitalization-and-punctuation/

Polar Express Lap Book & Unit Study: http://www.homeschoolshare.com/polar_express.php


First Grade Sight Word Sentences: http://www.freehomeschooldeals.com/free-homeschool-worksheets-first-grade-sight-word-sentences/

Montessori Printables: http://www.montessoriprintshop.com/Free_Montessori_Downloads.html

Happy New Year!!

          This year my husband and I elected to sleep through the New Year, as we have done since we have been together. I realize that there is no new to make the "new year, new me" proclamations. I'm just saying with the new year comes another year for the Lord to unravel His plans and Will for our lives. I'm thankful to wake up this morning, that my loved ones woke up this morning as well.

       This year was definitely our BEST year YET. We're finally settling into a routine of sorts. I feel emotionally and spiritually closer to my husband. I feel that he is in sync with me as well. I love that he can automatically tell my mood and a lot of times my thoughts. I love that he will speak truth to me regardless to if I get offended or not and loves me through it all.

     Our children have grown. Our daughter, Kaylee, is reading now and writing well. Our son is walking, talking, and demanding. We are actually hoping to add a third child to our family within the next year. Life is great. This time last year we were settling into Orlando and now I feel like an actual resident of Orlando.

     I've started blogging more. And now I am reviewing books. {My new favorite hobby}

So here is some of 2012 in photos :)


^^^ Kaylee's 5th Birthday at Aquatica!


^^ Kaylee and Caleb :)


^^ SeaWorld....Blue Horizons


^^^ Having fun in Target!


^^ Easter 2012


^^At a Birthday Party in March.


^^ At an arcade


^^ Waiting at the Dr office in May



Love to you all!
Kris Bush