Friday, December 21, 2012

This Life and Marriage



This life, I only got one so I'm gone live according to the Lord's Word.

    This marriage, I did it once and that is IT. {I do still want my actual "celebration" when we renew our vows, we didn't have one back in 2010}

            In marriage I am coming to understand that it is NO place for selfishness or pride. We, as a people, have the tendency to say well I do this & that so I deserve XYZ. That's an entitlement attitude. An entitlement attitude will destroy your marriage. That's like the church saying well Lord we prophesy and minister in your name, we deserve to have salvation. NOT! You don't get salvation by your works but by your faith in the Lord! It's the same with marriage you are not entitled to anything based on what you do! You receive just because that person loves you and wants to give to you!

            I address this issue because I am certain even as my marriage face this issue, I am sure other marriages and relationships face this issue. We have a habit of thinking well I do ALL of this for my spouse and our family he/she owes me. When that's not the case. When you give of yourself and of your time to your spouse and your family, you do so because you want to not so you can "get" anything in return. Men when you provide for your family, that is your God given duty. It was never an option on whether to provide for your family. That is what you are supposed to do! You aren't supposed to get a "pat on the back for that" what you get is respect and appreciation. It is today's society that wants to glorify the man who does not take care of his family, so that now the men who do take care of their family act like they deserve something extra or like its not a requirement.

Top 10: Ridiculous Wedding Customs

           When we decide to get married we take on giving up I/me for we/us. We when decide to get married we give up of selfish thoughts and decide to be SELFLESS putting our spouse before our selves, seeking to serve them no matter what. When we said I do, we said I don't to the "me, me, me" mentality, entitlement, making decisions alone, and being alone. We can't say I do for the good stuff or the agreements then say I don't when we don't get our way or when our expectations are not met. No we say I do to it ALL.

           Another thing I have realized is that we have unrealistic expectations of our spouses. We expect them to do things the way we think they should do them, or feel the way we think they should feel. NO! Allow your spouse to be their own person. Having unrealistic expectations will suffocate and cripple your marriage. Understand that your process will not look the same. Your praise may not look the same. Your disposition towards things will not look the same. AND THAT IS OKAY. It's okay to not do everything the same. Many times our expectations will not be met, and if you get angry about it, I suggest you do take your expectations to the Lord. If you do not know how to deal with disappointment or differing opinions, you do not need to be married, and if you already married, you need to seek God and ask Him for guidance {guidance may come in the form of godly counsel}. If you do not understand that every day won't be peachy king or filled will roses, you may need to seek God too. 

       Only God can fulfill our every need. Only God can be perfect for us. And even then there will be times we ask for things that do not align with God's Will and He will not give them to us. But trust and know that the Lord has your best interests at heart.

         I tell you these things in Love. Hoping that it is beneficial to your relationships and marriages. I, too, am applying these things to my marriage. And yes I do see a difference. We both see a difference. We both understand the greater picture of our marriage and its purpose and our family.


Love and Peace to you!
~Kris Bush


        My husband & I 
(his 24th Birthday, about 2 1/2 months after we got married)

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