Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Feelings and Marriage.

Marriage is this beautiful covenant between a man and a woman taken before God. It's a covenant with God as the rope that binds together. However some people don't realize these truths. When you get married, you give up your selfishness. Marriage makes you serve, your spouse. Marriage makes you put someone else first. Now don't think that I've got the perfect marriage, because I DON'T. I'm learning as I go along and sharing what I've learned along the way. 

I've been that person, the one that thought that I could allow my feelings to lead me through life. That I could depend on my feelings. However I had to learn that my feelings kept me in some miserable situations because I thought I was in love. It was when I told my feelings to shove it, that I started to become a better person and to want better. It was when I told my feelings to shove it and I moved on, that God literally brought me to my husband's attention. And yes I have told my feelings to shove it during my marriage. You heart, via your feelings, will have you thinking that your spouse is being mean or cruel when you could just be offended. Your heart, via your feelings, will make you think you're unhappy because you didn't get your way.

Oh and whoever told people to trust their emotions when making decisions, LIED. Do NOT trust your feelings when making decisions. Make your decisions after going to God and letting Him guide you.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

And one thing we need to do is guard our hearts. The bible don't tell us that for nothing. When you guard your heart, you're keeping it from being corrupted and keep it from being tainted. The above verse tells us why we need to guard our hearts and also why we cannot trust our feelings. When the heart is tainted and deceiving, how would we know because our feelings would have us thinking we're right? You wouldn't so don't trust your feelings, make decisions based on what God says, pray and ask Him for further assistance. You can even seek godly counsel, people who are mature in faith than you.

One thing I have learned is that for a marriage to truly work, both members need to come to a decision to consistently work at the marriage and to not always deal in their emotions. You cannot let your 'feelings' dictate how you approach anything or deal with your issues because your feelings come from your heart and your heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9). And since we now know this, we must acknowledge this. Your heart cannot be trusted to make decisions for you, God is who you trust when making decisions. 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5) 

This verse tells us that we cannot lean unto our own heart or our own understanding but to trust in the Lord with our heart and to lean unto HIS understanding. This verse applies in marriage as well. It is when you realize that you do not have all the answers and when you realize that you need God in your marriage that you will begin to really gain the help you need. Even if you think that you don't need help, still acknowledge God for all the good in your marriage as well. 

Pray together, read together, worship together. These three actions done together will help strengthen your marriage to weather any storm that comes. You will need to firmly root your marriage in God. I may not have the perfect marriage or the perfect husband, however I do know that I have a marriage rooted in Christ. And that is what matters, what will pull us through anything. 

Love God, Love People. Be selfless.

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