FINANCE

 

I'm guessing some people have issues with money. I know I have & I know many people around me who do. So that's what I'm addressing today is FINANCE. This subject in this economy is so crucial. Wrongly handled finances have ruined marriages & relationships. Sometimes financial issues can be the cause of a person being depressed.

So the first thing I recommend you do is get all of your bills together in one spot. Group them together by importance.

1^st – RENT/MORTGAGE

2^nd – UTILITIES (Electricity bill, water bill, gas bill, house phone bill, trash removal)

3^rd – CAR NOTE (also includes car insurance)

4^th - OTHER EXPENSES (this includes cell phone bills, credit card bills, money aside for gas & groceries, daycare payments etc…)

After you've grouped your outgoing payments (i.e. bills) together, NEXT get a copy of your check stubs & bank book.

This is very important because you need to keep track on your spending & you need to ensure your bills are paid on time. So I suggest creating a budget (using Excel, so easy & you can print it & post it). Decide which bills can be paid with which check (determined based on when your bills are due). For instance, if your rent is due on the 1^st that means you should either 1 PAY IT WITH THE END OF THE MONTH CHECK or 2 PUT ASIDE MONEY OUT OF EACH CHECK TO PAY IT. If your rent is due on the 1^st try paying it no later than the 30^th so that it's on time. Then there are the bills that never change, house phone bill/trash removal/car note & insurance/day care expenses, you can pre- write those checks or get the money orders on each pay period & just mail them in.

MY MAIN POINT IS TO FIGURE OUT WHERE YOUR MONEY HAS BEEN GOING & FIGURE OUT WHERE YOUR MONEY NEEDS TO GO.

 

It may be hard to not shop as much but wouldn't you rather have your finances in order first. And if you're a shopper like me, you can put aside $20-30 a paycheck for shopping then pick one day out of the month & that's your shopping day to spend what you have saved up. And to help out with the shopping urges, try new hobbies that require little to no money at all. Such as taking advantage of free days at a local gym. Maybe you can start a pot luck night to combat spending money on eating out. Or host a dinner party with your friends. There are several ways to hold onto your extra money. My cousins & I share our books so that we don't have to buy new books as often (most of us read a lot).

 

Another thing I really want to share is how you let your finances affect your life. I understand that when you feel like your outgoing money is overriding your incoming money. That's when you keep your spirits lifted. Stay around positive people who understand your situation & motivate you. You should SMILE even when you're sad. You should find things to smile about & things to laugh about even when you feel like crying. Use your circle of close friends for times like this. Ask them to come over & spend time with you. Ask them to pray for you. Prayer is so powerful in numbers.

Relationships

What is a relationship? How do you define a relationship?

-connection: a significant connection or similarity between two or more things, or the state of being related to something else

-behavior or feelings toward somebody else: the connection between two or more people or groups and their involvement with one another, especially as regards the way they behave toward and feel about one another

-friendship: an emotionally close friendship, especially one involving sexual activity

Do any of these definitions ring a bell? You probably have more "relationships" than you know. Relationships, it doesn't matter if they are romantic or platonic, requires an effort & some work. Are you willing?

Relationships require energy & time. They require thoughts & actions. They need to be nurtured & cherished.

You cannot honestly be in a relationship if you are not giving of yourself unto the other person. You have to give a little, take a little, and compromise the rest. There will be bad days. There will be plenty of good days.

Some of my best relationships are friendships. I love my friends. I love the fact that we all understand the concept of giving and receiving. I enjoy their company & I cherish the advice & love I receive from them. And to be a good friend I do all the same things for them that they do for me. I love each of them unconditionally.

Most of us have had romantic relationships. Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, etc… And the main thing you should have learned from those relationships is that they require a little more effort than platonic relationships. But why is that so? I believe it's because with romantic relationships we are trying to join our lives, we are trying to see if the other person is a soul mate. With platonic relationships we trust our friend to love us regardless, YET with romantic relationships you really have to build your trust, your communication channels, you can to build a foundation in which that relationship is to thrive upon. In my lifetime I've learned that romantic relationships require all or nothing. You have to go into relationship with your eyes open & with clear understanding. I'm now learning that for a romantic relationship to evolve into a long term partnership there's a lot of giving & discovering of you. There's a tremendous amount of communication. There has to be some common interests something beyond I love you. There has to be more than a like & lust. There has to definitely be some GOD for it to survive. And there has to be an understanding that this is what you both want & you both are committed to make it work.

At what point do you yourself decide to be a good friend? To decide to have good relationships. How do you have a healthy relationship?

Healthy relationships are those that are mutually beneficial. These relationships do not cause long-term suffering. These relationships are happy & stable. These relationships communicate more & effectively. These relationships are willing to endure hard times & suffer through the storm, YET come out stronger than before. How do you enjoy a healthy relationship? You do this through prayer, through communication, through understanding & commitment. You have to be willing to always be honest with your partner & always make time for your partner. Check any long standing relationship & they will give you similar answers.

 
What have you learned? Please Leave a comment & I promise to respond.

Meditation

What is meditation?

-the emptying
of the mind of thoughts, or the concentration of the mind on one thing, in order to aid mental or spiritual development, contemplation, or relaxation

-the act of thinking about something carefully, calmly, seriously, and for some time, or an instance of such thinking

You normally hear meditation & think of eastern religions, right? That's because meditation dates back to eastern religions and is closely associated with meditative practices such as yoga. Yoga starts in a meditative state. Many eastern religions, specifically Buddhism emphasizes meditation as the route to enlightenment & nirvana. Hinduism uses meditation Raja Yoga is one of the six orthodox schools of Hindu philosophy which focuses on meditation. Dhyana, or meditation, is the seventh of eight limbs of the Raja Yoga path as expounded by Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras. Patanjali recommended "meditation with the Lord as the object" as a part of the spiritual practices (sadhana) that leads to samadhi, or blissful inner peace. Christianity is now incorporating meditation into its practices. However Christian mediation is often seen as prayer because many Christians pray silently, a form of meditation. In Islam, those of Islamic faith are required to pray 5 times a day (once before sunrise, at noon, in the afternoon, at sunset, and once at night) and during prayer they focus & meditate on the Koran & engaging in dhikr (the repetition of the names of God as seen in the Koran) to strengthen the connection between creator and creation.

The main point to understand is that no matter what religion you may come from, meditation is present. I say this because I do not want someone to use their religion as an excuse as to why they do not meditate. Meditation is very useful to gain inner peace, to gain a quiet mind, it is very calming. Meditation has a way of calming you inside out. I use yoga many times when meditating because there are many poses used in yoga that are best attained when meditating. Relaxation is best attained during and after meditation because during mediation you come to an inner peace and when one is peaceful & calm then he can completely relax.

You can check MSN Fitness, Exercise TV for Yoga practices at home or you can check www.yoga.com for yoga practices. I encourage participating in a yoga class so that you can get the full effect of yoga as meditation with a group of people.

Breathe In, Breathe Out.

Concentrate on your breathing.

Be still. Enjoy the quietness. Enjoy the freedom to just be.

 

BE STILL. BREATHE DEEP. QUIET YOUR MIND. QUIET YOUR SOUL. ATTAIN PEACE.

Shanel Cooper-Sykes Call (November)

 

IN CASE YOU MISSED THIS CALL (A NO-FEE TELE SEMINAR) HERE'S AN UPDATE ON WHAT WAS SHARED. ;-)

STEP1:

CLARITY- YOU NEED TO BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE.

 

STEP 2:

PURPOSE- KNOW YOUR PURPOSE…PICK YOUR NICHE. IT'S NOT ABOUT MONEY IT'S ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE LIVING & WORKING IN YOUR PURPOSE.

*IF YOU HAVE A "WHY" THEN YOU CAN FIGURE OUT THE "HOW"

CREATE A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT.

 

STEP 3:

CREATE YOUR RECIPE FOR LIFE. STILETTOS IN THE KITCHEN IS A METAPHOR FOR LIFE. YOU NEED THE RIGHT INGREDIENTS, THE PROCESS TO COOKING, ABLE TO COOK, AND THE RIGHT WAY TO SERVE.

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

AND ONCE YOU HAVE WHAT YOU NEED, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH IT?

 

STEP 4:

PREPARE. PREPARE YOUR LIFE TO RECEIVE WHAT YOU WANT. GET RID OF THE THINGS THAT ARE IN THE WAY. TANGIBLE & INTANGIBLE. CLEAN YOUR HOUSE, CLEAN YOUR MIND.

 

STEP 5:

BEASTIFY YOUR ATTITUDE. GET COMPLETELY BEASTY ABOUT YOUR LIFE. A BEAST GETS WHAT IT WANTS. (A BEAST WILL DESTROY OR MOVE TO THE SIDE WHATEVER'S IN THE WAY)

HAVE YOUR AFFIRMATION EVERYWHERE!

-TAKE AN INVENTORY OF YOUR LIFE…SEPARATE IN RED (PEOPLE BELOW YOUR LEVEL), BLUE (PEOPLE AT YOUR LEVEL), GREEN (PEOPLE ABOVE YOUR LEVEL). SURROUND YOURSELF AROUND WHAT YOU WANT TO BE. NOTIFY THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO TAKE A JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVERY & ENHANCE YOUR LIFE. GET IN WHERE THEY FIT IN.

-GET A MENTOR. A MENTOR IS A GIFT FROM GOD. GET A MENTOR FOR EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.

-ELIMINATE THE DISTRACTIONS! NO GOSSIP, NO B.S. TELEVISION. GET YOUR AFFIRMATIONS! OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING, STRATEGICALLY PLACE THEM AROUND YOUR HOME. GET YOUR MOTIVATION MUSIC.

-BUILD YOUR SPIRITUAL MUSCLE. YOU NEED TO BE STRONG IN YOUR SPIRITUALITY, YOUR CONNECTION WITH GOD. CREATE YOUR RITUAL. PRAY EVERYDAY. WRITE IN YOUR GRATITUDE JOURNAL. BROADEN YOUR VOCABULARY, LEARN NEW WORDS. DICTIONARY.COM CREATE A ROUTINE THAT BUILDS YOUR SPIRITUAL MUSCLE

 

STEP 6:

CREATE YOUR VISION BOARD. THAT'S YOUR GUIDE FOR YOU TO ADHERE BY. YOUR VISION BOARD IS YOUR GOAL & GUIDE AND YOUR AFFIRMATIONS HELP YOU GET THERE.

 

STEP 7:

BE UNREALISTIC. BE DIFFERENT. LOOK AT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING AND DO WHAT IS DIFFERENT. IF WHAT THEY ARE DOING ISNT YIELDING POSITIVE RESULTS & THE RESULTS THAT ARE UP TO PAR, CHOOSE A DIFFERENT STRATEGY.

 

STEP 8:

BURN THE ROPE ONCE YOU GET ACROSS. ELIMINATE EVERY SINGLE OPTION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO BACK TRACK. IF YOU HAVE A WAY TO BACK TRACK THEN YOU WILL BACK AWAY FROM YOUR DREAMS. IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF BACK UP PLANS THEN YOU DON'T EXPECT THE MAIN PLAN TO WORK.

 

 

 

STEP 9:

FOCUS- HAVE LASER BEAM VISION…DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOU GET THERE. HAVE TUNNEL VISION WHERE YOU ONLY SEE YOUR DREAM AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU ATTAIN THAT DREAM.

 

STEP 10:

DO NOT GIVE UP. NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!

 

FAITH IS JUST NOT BELIEVING. FAITH IS ALSO ACTION. IF YOU START ON THAT ACTION GOD WILL ENSURE THE REST OF THE PATH.

 

HW ASSIGNMENTS:

IF YOU KNEW YOU WOULD NOT FAIL…WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO?

CLARIFY WHAT YOU WANT THEN CREATE YOUR MISSION STATEMENT

TAKE AN INVENTORY OF YOUR LIFE…YOU MAY NEED TO ELIMINATE PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE.

 

 

AWAY

I was thinking to myself this morning. And for some reason I don't feel like I belong here anymore. As if its my time to leave. But where do I go? When do I leave? I just want a new start. You know, new town with new people. New friends & new hobbies.
Some days I hear whispers from my family. And they kind of view me as a bad example. You know they'll say oh wow, you don't want Journei, my cousin, to end up like her. And when you hear people, that claim to love you, talking about you like that it kind of shatters you & you never look at them the same anymore.
They don't even know I heard that conversation.
I know I'm different I've never wanted to be like the average everyday person. I've always wanted to be special. I've always wanted to leave my mark on the world positively. I'll never change that for anyone. Don't people know that when youth are growing up & trying to figure out life we all make mistakes but the question is DID WE LEARN FROM THAT MISTAKE. I've learned from every mistake I've ever made so that I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. But you've got to remember I'm only 22 which means I've only got 22 years of experience and lessons. And a lifetime of more experiences and lessons. I'm not perfect. Yet why do people expect perfection from me? I have a cousin, Britt. No one ever expected her to do too well in life because she barely graduated from high school. And seemed on a left fielded path to nothingness. But then she got her life together & now she's doing well. I'm extremely proud of her. My thing is why do people expect more from me than her. And the results of those uneven expectations is that when she needs help everyone JUMPS to help her. Yet let me ask for help, people act as if I haven't said anything. And the realisation of it hurts to the core.
It just feels as though I'm not good enough for my family. And I want out. I want to go away where they can't hurt me anymore with their stares, with their comments, with their actions.
And because I haven't lived up to their expectations, now I'm the forgotten. At least until they need me to do something. Then they can remember that I exist.

But someday I'll look back at this and say that was my motivation to really BE somebody special that can leave a positive mark on society. When I've reached my goal in life. I'll look back and tell them thank you for doubting me because that made me stronger.

Entrepreneurship

I want to start my own company. Yet there are so many different things to choose from. One thing I do know I love is reading & writing. I loved my modeling career but it had to take a back seat to my family. As you can tell I enjoy blogging. I'm trying to figure out my niche & hone in on it. There are so many things & so little time. I've applied to be a marketing event planner. And I got an interview. Let's see how this turns out. Who knows it just may be my niche.

Stay tuned for the results!

Prayer

I had a friend of mine just ask on Facebook, what do you do when praying isnt working?
That one question sparked so much thought because I've never heard anyone say they thought praying did not work. I hope she understands that prayer works. God hears everything you say to Him. But sometimes I think we need to change our approach to God. I think there are times when you need to just talk to God. But the problem some of us have is that we'll talk talk talk & forget to LISTEN. Not just hear but listen to what God says to us. Then we have to prepare ourselves for that answer. Because we may not get exactly what we want but He will give us what we need.


So my response to her was:

You talk to God as if he's sitting right next to you. Hold a conversation with Him like you would your girlfriends. God can hear your prayers, your cries, your screams & feels your tears. After you talk to God, BE STILL. You need to be still afterwards in order to hear His response. This may require you to meditate in order to clear and quiet your mind. But you must BE STILL.