Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)
Recently I've been wondering where has the disconnect occurred where wives believe it is okay to demand unconditional love yet are content to pass out conditional respect to their husband.
That is NOT okay. Nor is it in alignment with God's Words.
We are exhorted to respect our husbands. It is not respect that is dependent upon an action or lack thereof. We are also exhorted to respect our husbands because it does not come natural to us.
In Genesis 3:16 God tells Eve: "Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
There's a book called Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I think any wife who struggles to respect her husband unconditionally needs to read this book AND apply it. Especially if you sense there is trouble in your marriage or you sense a lack of intimacy (not just sexual). This is huge because majority of men would rather have your respect than your love. They are not programmed to see love as the end all be all. They are not programmed to love regardless to how you talk to them and how you act towards them. YET that is what we, as wives, expect from them.
We expect them to love us on our most unlovable days. YET in the same breath we will make it so clear that if their behavior is not respectable then we have no respect for them nor will we treat them with respect. Even being so bold as to say it to their face but then wonder why he treats us unlovingly. THAT is NOT how marriage works.
And as long as we proceed with the thought that respect is NOT as important as love then we will fail to thrive in marriage. We will be mediocre and barely surviving. We will wonder why our men prefer to hang with his guys than us. We will wonder what was the allure of the female that he cheated with. (Yes, THAT is a very likely possibility!!!)
Stop being selfish in your thought of conditional respect with unconditional love.
Come under the authority of the bible and SUBMIT. Respect your husband as you would respect Jesus Christ!