Friday, February 10, 2012

My Life

I've read and heard about people's life story. And I noticed I'm not like them. I'm unique.
I came from odd beginnings, if that's even an accurate way to describe it. My father had unconventional means of providing for our family. I can never vouch for the reasons behind my father's actions. All I can say is that as a child I didn't want for anything. Then everything changed my dad went to prison when I was in 6th grade and remained there for 11 and a half years. However I'll never look ill upon my dad.

In high school, I excelled in my studies and in music. I've learned to play so many different instruments. My first instrument was a violin, I learned in 4th grade. In high school I started the clarinet, then I picked up the saxophone, trumpet, snare drums, trumpet, and piano. My mother placed me in dance school, so I was classically trained in ballet and tap for about 5 years. I love swimming and track. I actually enjoy classical and contemporary jazz music. (On top of gospel music & some r&b.) In high school I was the new kid, no one knew me, whereas majority of my classmates had known each other for years. Eventually I started fitting in, and I had a few friends I still consider friends to this very day. I had my first boyfriend at 16 and my first few dates were parent chaperoned. My second at 17. And my third at 18. These were the major boyfriends of high school. I thought I was in love with each of them, when really I was infatuated.

By college I had started going through randoms. I had a couple randoms (guys I knew I'd never marry yet still dated) I dated on & off for years. (You want to cut those off immediately when you recognize that they are a random.) These guys were persistent pests. Literally. I was a mess. Not knowing exactly what I wanted or anything. I didn't particularly take my relationship with God seriously like I should have. It wasn't until I was tired of being hurt and tired of being taken advantage of that I got focused on just God, me & my daughter. And when I shut everyone else out, that's when I finally met my husband. And he'd been under my nose for YEARS. From him living in the same neighborhood as my step-mom to us having some of the same skate friends. And I'm glad I met him when I did, I wouldn't have been ready if we met earlier on. By the time we met, I was ready to settle down and be committed to just one person.

See most people say they had long courting periods during which they were in a changing process with God. They have this long and extremely inspirational story behind their marriage. However my marriage is different & unique. I met my husband about 2 months before we ever even looked at each other in a romantic light. When we finally did get together. We went out, as friends, to a movie and early dinner. And initially we were content to just be friends, seeing as we were both focused on other things. However we started hanging out, skating together just getting to know each other as friends. Then we bought a car together, both of us used it for work.
And I remember one day he took me over his god-mother's house to meet her and his sisters. And the one question everyone seemed interested in was, 'what is our status'. I answered honestly. I figured we were just friends but I knew we had deeper feelings. So his mom told him, he'd better say something before someone else came along and wooed his future wife. And after that my husband told me, he had an idea that I was his wife, he just wanted to be sure. He made the promise that we'd be married before the summer was out. Well we ended up married within 2 weeks. I do know He is my God given husband. I saw him before I'd ever even met him. (And I'm talking, YEARS before.) Just as he knows I am his God given wife, something God confirmed to him. I love that we are on the same wave length with our faith. We have shared goals in life. His faith is one of the main things to attract me to him. The fact that he was & still is so bold about his love for God. And is willing to share that with any and every one.

When we got married, we shocked just about EVERYONE. Only people that wasn't shocked was our mothers1. Some people said we were too young (I was 22, he was 23). Others said we needed more time to get to know each other. However we were happy with our decision. Now mind you that was nearly two years ago. We've had our shares of bad days, our storms to endure together. And we are still learning each other. We don't regret getting married. We are just still in the learning stage, some days we are in the honeymoon phase. Other days we can remind you of a couple that's been married for 20 years.
We both have baggage we are trying to remove and layers to peel back but the major the plus is that we are willing to do so together. (Almost every person comes with some baggage, the question is how much & are you willing to help them get rid of it.)
We've had a son since being married, his birthday is 3 days after our anniversary. He's adopting our oldest so that she is legally his daughter and we are HAPPY.

The point is to figure out your path. Everyone's path isn't the same.
This our story. Its different from most people's story. (Only person's story who could possibly be similar is Khloe & Lamar Odom, at least that I know of.)

I decided to tell my life because its different. I don't regret anything about my life because each experience has made me who I am today. And some of it has helped others to avoid or to cope with similar pain.

It's OK to be different. It's expected of you. Just be in God's Will.

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